It Is What You Make It

"I am not what happened to me. 

I am what I choose to become."

(Carl Gustav Jung)

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.” (Theodore Roosevelt) 

 Are you going through a mid-life crisis?  "IT IS WHAT IT IS"  

Have you been passed over for a promotion?  "IT IS WHAT IT IS"

Is your girlfriend is a nag?  "IT IS WHAT IT IS"

Your parents don't understand you?   "IT IS WHAT IT IS"

You say your husband doesn't listen to you?   "IT IS WHAT IT IS"

Are the people around you are idiots?   "IT IS WHAT IT IS"

Hearing "It is what it is" makes me want to punch someone.  And then when they'd complain, I'd just say, "Sorry, but it is what it is"

This statement has gained tremendous popularity in the last few years.  However, it is probably my least favorite cliche or saying in all of the world.  The phrase is so reactionary.  It is essentially giving up control of things in your life.  It says that you are a passenger in a car

I don't want to be a passenger my entire life.  I don't want to be a victim.  I don't want to be at the mercy of things that happen to me.  I don't want to do well under the circumstances.  I want to rise above the circumstances.

We have the incredible gift of choice.  We get to make decisions.  

If you don't like where you live ... move.
If you don't like your job ... change jobs.
If you don't like that your pants no longer fit ... eat less and exercise more.
If you don't like that you can't catch a break ...  honestly assess your situation.
If you don't like the people around you ... get better friends.

For years, people would poke fun at me because my voice mail said "Make today a great day."  I didn't want you to sit back and hope to 'have' a good day, I wanted you to go out and make it a good one.  We have opportunities to make hundreds of choices everyday that can make our lives or the lives of those around us, better.  Your perspective has a lot to do with that.

Charles Swindoll once famously said, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to those things that happen to you.  And so it is with you.  You are in charge of your attitude."

Take ownership in your decisions, your reactions and your perspective.  Be responsible for you.

The next time someone says the dreaded phrase acknowledging that they do not want to control their own life or take responsibility for things that happen, just turn to them and say "It is what YOU MAKE it".

 Jamy Bechler is a certified John Maxwell leadership coach, speaker and trainer.  You can contact him at Jamy@CoachBechler.com.  You can also subscribe to his leadership newsletter by clicking here.